Just because we disagree on the bark issue, that does not mean that my brother Ace and I don't get along. I devoted a whole blog to him one time and we spend as much time talking to each other as we do our wives. This gives me a unique opportunity to pick up on his little idiosyncrasies and his mastery of malapropism's is one of them. He frequently substitutes the wrong word, but a close one, into his phraseology without even knowing he is doing it. Almost every time we speak, he utters one of these, and I've always meant to do a blog on them, but I never remember to write them down and I can never recall enough of them to fill a blog, but this morning I'll give you the first one I remember and the best one. He always has said "Nip it in the butt" instead of "nip it in the bud". Most times he is talking about his work and it creates a quick comical moment for me when I picture his coworkers running around trying to nip his butt, and I've corrected him several times, but I think it's too far ingrained in his grey cells for him to change it, so I silently chuckle when he uses it now. The one I was totally unprepared for, however, he used one time while discussing his feeling alienated in his office and he told me that they were "treating him like a leopard". That one cost me a pair of pants cuz I spit my coffee out laughing when he said it. I can easily imagine what it would be like if they "treated him like a leper" but had a much harder time imagining the former. Sorry Ace, but I had to share that one.
I get a lot of articles forwarded or shared with me about how hotel rooms are not really cleaned as they should be. These are not helpful. I am aware that the glasses may not be clean and no I would never even consider bringing a black light into a hotel room with me, because, at the bend of the day, I still have to sleep in them (see what I did there?). I can't wear a hazmat suit while I travel so I just have to accept the fact that I don't know what I am coming in contact with in the hotels, but ignorance is his, so I Kerry on.
There's a great family story about my mom making mud cupcakes and tricking my oldest brother into eating one, but while it's a great story, I, Shirley couldn't make it into a hole blog, could I?
I'm likely not as clever this morning as I think I yam, so I'd best try to finish quickly. The blast thing that I would want to do is to alien ate my readers, less they treat me like a leopard.